Sādhanā

“Yayin is the name of the Lord Shiva” he explained as we smoked: “In the Hindu faith, smoking ganja or charas is our way of worshipping Shiva and that’s why moments like these are so blessed” he inhaled deeply and exhaled a thick cloud of sweet, blue smoke: “Smoking helps us in the pursuit of religious sādhanā, which means a way to accomplish something. Sādhanā both prevents an excess of worldliness and moulds the mind and disposition into a form which develops the knowledge of dispassion and non-attachment. Sādhanā is a means whereby bondage becomes liberation.”

I listened mesmerised by his voice and what he was saying, eager to know more.

“The reason I asked you to stay is because I can sense that you will be able to understand what I have to say while your colleague cannot. He thinks I am the devil because I have profited from my dealings with the devil, but he forgets that he is the off-spring of that devil. Even as my one hand takes from Satan, the other plots his downfall because it takes money, lots of money to fight a revolution. To buy guns and bombs and pay lawyers and to feed the families of the fallen: I am not just a stupid bhai with a little shop on the corner. You must understand this.”

He finished the chillum and blew the ash into his hand which he then tipped into the ashtray.

“I’m sure you’ve heard some of the stories about me” he waited and I nodded: “Without being proud or boastful, you must know that they are all true. I have killed men and I have dined with Satan and I have used everything at my disposal to help to return dignity to the lives of my brothers and sisters.”

He lit one of his cigarillos and puffed in silence for a moment: “And yes sometimes a few had to be sacrificed for the good of the many, but that is what is required sometimes. Sometimes there has to be heroes and martyrs and villains and anonymous benefactors and friendly monsters. It is all Sādhanā.”