Fuckable...

Strange strangers in my head

Avoiding the things

That should not be said

Because it’s not appropriate

And I am still a reprobate.

Your eyes, your smile

The presence that lingers

Just for a while

I reach out and touch your finger

Your hand, your arm

The soul means no harm

This presence imparts a calm

That belies the depth of passion.

This unquenchable lust for life

For loving and giving;

To create and disseminate

To express with beauty

What could have been hate.

These little things that I embrace

This smile that defines this face

The polluted breath that I take in

Reduces my desire to a sin.

This moment begs to be defined

I am present it seems

But is my state of mind

A consequence

Or an abstraction of truth?

With all due respect

And I say this without regret,

Fuck you my love

Fuck you for fucking me while you did

Instead of loving me always

Giving me always

Being you always

Fleeing me always.

I run too

I run away from memories of you

Thoughts of us

Too many broken hearts

That you could once mend

Then bent into little pieces

Beyond your skill to repair.

The despair always fades

Even when I have nothing

To share with anyone

Of consequence; all nonsense

This life I live

Defined by another sentence.

I tell myself I shouldn’t care

But I was there

When you said forever

You meant never again

This pain drives me sane

Just because you chose

You made your choice

At least you enjoyed it

I hope.