Just Two Things

I’ve heard it

At least once more

Before:

The yadda-yadda,

The warra-warra

The this is what I do

And you?

This is what I can do

For you.

Always the same

Two things

Either but always

Just the one

Or the other;

This or that

And the conversation

Inevitably

Falls flat.

THE DAUGHTER'S SECRET

She’s so much closer now

And yet it seems the same as before

I’ve seen her but was unable to speak

About how I can love alone.

The distance is reduced

Yet the wall remains impenetrable

I’ve said it all and have no voice

As I wait frustrated for a sign.

The high is suspended in its upward surge

A daunting perpetuation of yesterday’s woes

I sit balancing on the precipice

Preserved by an ailing hope.

Child of my soul speak to me

Let me know the secret of your heart.

So here’s the thing…

The more I think about it, the more I realise that there are but just two inherent human flaws that have and will continue to rule the world and our lives.

We live on a planet with a population of 7billion people. No matter how hard you try you cannot imagine how much that is. In South Africa alone there are 51.7 million and even that fraction is unimaginable to every single one of us.

But I digress…

In 2500 BCE (Before Common Era) the oldest archeologically verified king on the Sumerian List of the Kings is En-me-barage-si who was the ruler of Kish and to whom reference is made in one of the oldest literary works, the Epic of Gilgamesh.

I am however fairly certain that throughout the ages there was a certain type of psychopath who was self-obsessed enough to kill to assert their will. Ruthless, single-minded despots who made ‘lesser men’ bow to their lust for power.

The second type of human being is the rest of us who would rather bow down than be hurt for what we think is right. Most of us would rather change the way we think before standing up to the giant with the blood soaked axe in his hand that subordinates us all.

And in our cowardice and fear and the unthinking constructed state that we call reality we kill each other and treat each other like we are not of the same species because the norm to which we subscribe has been designed by certifiable, criminally insane sociopaths who by might of arms has turned our species into an abomination.

And the worst part is that for all the supposedly growing consciousness, the horror will not change. This reality is as good as it’s ever going to get again. We’ve allowed it to go too far and the only hope left is the total destruction of the hell that is this system.

Only when there is absolutely nothing left, when the destruction is absolute and final, will a new hope be born. And that tomorrow will have to be so completely new that you and I shouldn’t have a part in it.

Personal ad–Wanted, not needed…

Seeking an evolved, mature human being for long term friendship.

Must be an anarcho-anti-theist-sapiosexual with a preference for tri-nogomy and no desire to have kids or pets; must be a strong and confident traveller, warrior and healer; emphatically individualistic, compassionate, empathic, non-materialistic, without unresolved issues or too much baggage.

Must love yourself unconditionally, must be honest with yourself, independent enough to be yourself and must thoroughly enjoy being with yourself.

Must enjoy good music – especially mainstream-leaning-to-third-stream-jazz and avant-garde (those who dig Tom Waits and Frank Zappa and with an aversion to pop will be given preference): well-read with a love for good theatre, film, dance, visual art, street art and socially conscious, honest expression: the successful candidate will also understand the purpose of art.

Must be able to enjoy alcohol, and partake of an occasional toke with a strong possibility of a sporadic lined-up conversation or an infrequent jaunt with the good Doctor Hoffman.

Must enjoy silence and the value of simplicity with no delusions of any nature.

Please Lord?!

There are millions of our brothers and sisters that pray everyday to their God for a meal and security. We are not criminals when our prayers are answered and the food that is prepared is acquired from the proceeds of some criminal deed. I am not a criminal for standing up for what is right and trying to protect myself. (PAUSE) When you close your eyes to pray, what is it that you see in your imagination? Is it the pretty white Jesus that has been fed to us by the popular media or is it some other indefinable thing? Is it a balm for your pain; courage against the crippling fear; a hopeless fight against resignation; or a perfectly blissful, unthinking belief in divine intervention? Dear lord, we have sinned and continue to do so at every possible opportunity. Dear God, forgive us even though we cannot forgive each other. Oh lord my God, who am I? Am I the innocent child in Africa or the mother in the Middle East or the dead father? Am I any different from the mindlessly happy characters that continue to be forced upon me by popular culture? Am I just lazy or am I a reflection of someone else’s branding; just an impression, a stereotype, a typecast, bad actor playing a role in the tragic, sit-com of existence? And even when the programme is no longer appealing, we are told that we should still be happy because at least it is entertainment. Dear lord please increase my viewing pleasure and release me from these burdens I pray, amen.

Reading at Dustcovers Bookshop with Athol Fugard, Nico Zaverdinos and Paula Fourie...

An Ode to Whiskey

These late night libations

Warm comfort for my soul

Hanging out and drinking

I don’t want to go home.

Been staring since morning

Into your golden come-hither eye

And the lip of this glass

Is my temptress’ smile.

These late night libations

Liquid kisses for my soul

I’d rather spend my time with you

I don’t want to go home.

When no-one else had the time

You always stuck around

And always when they closed the door

Your hot embrace is what I found.

So pop that cork and fill me up

Let it spill over the brim

And keep singing your sweet love song

Because it helps to ease the pain.

These late night libations

Like an ever burning flame

Intoxicated conversations

That keeps me sane.

Sing to me and hold me tight

And never let me go

The sweet lullaby of your oblivion

Is all I want to know.

Just keep talking to me Amber

Keep saying that I’m okay

And one day I promise

Your love will be repaid.

The Mirror

I have been doing creative workshops with kids since 1997. Over the years I have conducted workshops throughout the country and with kids from as young as 8 to youth in their 20’s and sometimes even older; and the one thing that always strikes me is the similarity of these young people’s reality.

One of the standard discussions is about the problems facing communities and without fail –irrespective of place, age, culture or language – crime, substance abuse, unemployment, abuse and violence are mentioned. The understanding of the problems obviously differs, but most young people believe that someone else should fix these social ills.

Young people are taught and are made to believe that they are powerless and they grow up to become another generation of complacent adults who are satisfied with their lot of being transgressors or victims.

As a collective – globally – we are these complacent adults who hide behind the safe excuses we assume through experience, or knowledge, or class or race or genealogy and even gender.

We are society and this society is sick.

I am sick of listening to able bodied people saying that there is no choice; that this is how and what it is and the best and only thing to do is to try to find a way to fit into the fuck-up.

If that is what the adults believe – the parents of children and the living examples – what hope is there for any child?

How does the future which you see look? Or do the limits of your imagination prevent you from seeing the world that your child will be a part of?

Everyday millions more are born into this festering illness and parents continue to be proud and happy that they have given this disease to their children.

And all the reasons are just excuses and all the proof is just justification. Until we all decide to do something as individuals and the collective we will continue to pray for salvation that we believe is not ours within this lifetime: maybe in death, in the afterlife.

How stupid can we be? What little faith and belief we have in ourselves; how petty and insignificant we are to think that we are not deserving of any better; how limited the horizons of our dreams when all we want is what we have already been given?

And so mindlessly self absorbed that we do not care; we do not have the will or the volition to do anything unless we are told, unless a leader comes along to take us there. Is it really in our nature as a species to be this apathetic?

No! It is not! We have allowed ourselves to become these callously complacent and complicit weaklings who continue to be spectators in our own lifetimes.

And the children are the future but the future is already here, being created as you read this, and nothing will change until we start to change ourselves but that won’t happen because we all think we are right and that everyone else must be more like us, but in so doing we deny what we could be and what we could create and we kill the mere notion of humanity.

Ode To the Allemanns

Often life’s journey presents so much more

Than all the anticipation; exceeding every expectation

More even than can be conjured by my most vivid imagination

Such is the case upon this landscape which I now traverse

Which has served to restore my faith in the universe.

I came to this place with a singular focus

Intent that nothing would detract from my purpose

To record a tale of my own mad creation

A tale of pain and triumph; a story of this nation

I travelled alone, companioned only by my own jaded preconception.

From the moment that I arrived I was made to feel at home

Here where a part of my soul will now always reside

A solitary wanderer but no longer alone

Amidst the silence and birdsong and the freedom to be

Amongst strangers, no longer, where I could just be me.

And from that very first moment I’ve been struggling to put down

The words that would suitably express my heartfelt gratitude

My deepest, humble appreciation of your kindness

For having had the honour and the pleasure

For having been granted this opportunity to be a part of this beauty.

And still the words fail to convey all that I feel

So instead I will just say my Thank You to you now

For your open arms and the bounty of your hearts

For sharing your lives and your love and the ready laughter

But thank you most of all for your honesty and being all of you.

The 2013 Fillum Projek!

The arts project kicked off last week. This year the kids will be making a film. After the usual introductory engagement last week, I had them watching John Frederick's documentary about the life of Mister Devious. Needless to say they were enthralled as is evident by the expressions. I had to cut it short though because it was the end of the day for them and it is Monday! But weary and hungry aside, this group shows promise.

Its going to be an intense journey of learning and discovering and growing for all of us, but I am confident that come September, these kids will have produced a 'fillum' that they will all be proud of.

http://lettiedeklerkprimaryschoolartsproject.blogspot.com/2013/03/2013-film-project-2nd-workshop.html

Contemporary Commentary...

As long as we are going to be looking at the current issues in this country with our blinkered (read racial, cultural, linguistic, geographic, gender etc.) stereotypes intact we are as much a part of the problem as any individual or group that can be blamed. Like it or not (as has been said by more eloquent writers numerous times before), until we all have as much or as little as everyone else, we will be at risk of being overwhelmed by these problems that have always beset us: corruption, police brutality, crime... These are symptoms of social inequality and no government anywhere! will fix what is broken unless every single citizen takes responsibility for their own actions: without any false religious, cultural or class morality, but with a growing sense of humanity that is unfortunately lacking throughout the world. All the spin that gets published and broadcast about foreign investment, development and legislative/policy reform is just that, SPIN! Governments all over the world are sponsored and supported by finance first and secondly through the votes of 'the masses'. Until we dismantle the controlling forces of economics, we will not live in a just society with equal opportunity and dignity. And still, we subscribe to the failed systems of capitalism and neo-liberal politics. Methinks it is time for us all to wake up to the horror of our own prejudices and do some soul-searching before pointing a finger that only serves to expose our own bigotry.

Reading rooms...

A Love Letter for the Epoch is all but sold out! I have six copies remaining which will be kept for the eventual Namibia reading. Whoever didn't get their copy yet will not have a copy because I have decided not to do a second print run. As is, my self-publishing project has been a success and I thank everyone who has in any way contributed and supported this venture. And to the rest, well... Next time...