GRAND EVENTS & LITTLE ACHIEVEMENTS

(By Blu)

I sometimes think about the things I took for granted: little things that in the moment are insignificant: until they are denied.
And then the inconsequential little nothings of days gone by take on a magnified import that makes me realise that I actually wasn't present in the act of my own living.

So many years are wasted going through the motions: years that are marked by grand events and little achievements that account for mere days or sometimes even hours and no matter how hard I try, I cannot piece together what I did with the rest of the time. 

I remember how sometimes after I was paid for a big job I would withdraw a budget from the bank with which I would go out and party. The next morning after I awoke, I would check my wallet and work out where I had spent the money and for the most part I would be able to figure out almost exactly how much I had spent on what; but now I’ve discovered that I cannot do the same with time.

Huge chunks of the budget have disappeared. And not through a loss of memory, but simply because I didn’t think that what I was doing at the time was memorable enough to remember.

And another second fades away and is gone, without a backward glance and no goodbye; forever.

(From 'A Tale Of Extra Ordinary Madness')